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11143146_10207496976369413_9162568793184480367_n…because making lists comforts me in times of stress or anger…

Reasons I love my teenage daughter:

  1. She’s funny and sarcastic (like me) and wicked smart
  2. She’s driven and fiercely loyal and protective of those she loves
  3. She laughs at fart jokes and fears nothing (but spiders)
  4. She’s mine. I made her and she’s mostly awesome in every way
  5. 800 other things (at least)

Reasons I want to punch my teenage daughter in the throat (metaphorically, of course)

  1. Makeup, everywhere. Floors, doors, counters (kitchen)… I mean seriously…
  2. The state of the bathtub due to her copious amounts of body products… gross, just… gross
  3. FOR HANGING UP ON ME WHEN SHE CALLED TO SAY SHE ONCE AGAIN LEFT HER FUCKING CAR LIGHTS ON AND NEEDED A JUMP, THEN BEING PISSY WHEN I EXPLAINED THAT AFTER BEING UP 20 HOURS, WORKING A 10 HOUR OVERNIGHT SHIFT, GOING TO HER SISTER’S DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT – THEN TO BOTH OF THEIR SCHOOL CONFERENCES… THAT I HAD THE NERVE TO TAKE A MUSCLE RELAXER AND COULDN’T DRIVE AND THEN TELLING HER ‘YOU NEED TO STOP LEAVING THEM ON’ (WHICH IS LITERALLY THE 10TH TIME). Kiddo-pants, it is fine to be annoyed with me for doing my job and riding your ass as needed…but it is NEVER fine to disrespect me. No, no, hell no, NEVER DO THAT!

This time she’s getting off with the good old fashioned ass chewing I gave her… next time… Oh next time child… I will take the car, the money, the fun and your very soul…to be repeated as needed.

So there!

~ A mama who ‘ain’t got time for no disrespect’.

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